If you’ve read my other entries or know me in real life, you’ve probably read the original post “The Crib Chronicles” – like the original, this post is also not for those who dislike reading about bodily jetsam and flotsam. You’ve been warned!
Today started as many days do, dozily ignoring the babbling of my toddler until the radio alarm pipes up and creates a strange remix of rock song and toddler lyrics. Today it was “Enter Sandman,” complete with the following lyrics: “Ollieeeee!” “Yo dabba! Yo dabba DABBA!” “Yay!” “No! No! NoNoNoNoNo!” (Most other vocals are unintelligible and, as any great rocker will note, that is part of the appeal.)
I wrenched myself out of bed, somehow getting elbowed in the face by an equally thrilled-to-be-awake husband. I should have recognized this as “the sign” that the day would be less than pleasant, but I was too fogged with sleep to comprehend it at the time. After pulling on some clean clothes and splashing cool water on my face, I began digging through the laundry basket (of clean laundry, please note) for the day’s outfits for the kids. I noticed that Ollie was much quieter than just five minutes before, but I thought perhaps he was in a lull, collecting himself between exuberant performances. And so I headed down the hall to wake my four year old. I discovered her awake in her room and asked her to please go potty and then try to get dressed – I’d be back shortly to help her as need be.
Off to Ollie’s room. I opened the door and instantly knew. There stood my son. Stark naked. The smell was unmistakable. He was smiling broadly.
Closer inspection revealed a single brown bum stamp on the crib sheet. He had, with seeming forethought, emptied his bed of his pillow, stuffed animals, and blanket and then courteously placed his pajamas and soiled diaper in the hamper near his crib. All I could think was, “thank you for being so tidy about being messy!”
Clean up was infinitely easier than any one of the repeated incidents with my daughter. Wipe his bum, stick a fresh diaper on him, remove the offending diaper from the hamper, stick the soiled sheets and whatnot in the washer.
Now, I will admit that he had unzipped his footie PJs on several previous occasions, proudly displaying just his midsection and shouting “belly!” when I walked in the door. Naively believing it was just his navel that was of interest to him, I made no changes to the routine.
Still convinced it was a one-off, due to a nasty and uncomfortable diaper, I put him down for his nap this afternoon in his daytime clothes. He had never removed regular clothes before, but that sure as heck did not stop him today! I did the same as always when he started his post-nap yap: feed the cats, hit the loo in peace, and then head up to get him. He had, what?, three minutes before I was there. And yet, he managed to completely empty his bed, disrobe, and create a large puddle in his crib.
Loading the washer with the second set of stanky sheets in an 8 hour period of time, it was clear. He would have to be the second child of mine (that makes a grand total of all my kids) to don… the sleeper. Thankfully, we have two that fit him well enough, left over from my daughter’s year-long stint in them.
They are actually called Little Keeper Sleepers and they are a must if you have ever gone through this. Believe me, they are wonderful (for the situation, that is… if your kid does not have a fascination with the seepage and other emanations from his nethers, well, then, they would be an enormous pain in the rear for you). So, tonight I wrestled him into the LKS pjs. They are designed to be close-fitting and impossible to remove (and therefore, rather more difficult than standard sleepwear to put on). They also zipper up the back and “seal” shut with a set of snaps and flaps. There’s no getting those bad boys off for the little one. Of course, I’ll also be changing him in and out of them at nap times, too, joy of joys. It’s a bit of a pain, but it’s better than doing laundry after every stint in the crib.
Never a dull moment, right?
If your child has a poop-in-the-crib proclivity, I fully recommend the Little Keeper Sleepers. They are not the cutest sleepwear for little kids, but somehow clean, not-so-adorable pjs, rather than excrement covered anything is just much, much more fetching.